Why do negative thoughts seem more rooted in reality than positive ones?

A lot of the work I do with clients has to do with rewiring their thought patterns, specifically identifying negative patterns and retraining their brain to think positively. The question often comes up, why does it seem easier and more natural for my brain to go straight to negative thought patterns instead of positive ones? So in this post I've created an outline of why our brains prioritize negative thoughts, what contributes to the perpetuating of these thoughts, and some helpful tips to get you started in rewiring your brain to think positive first!

1. Our brains lead with negative thinking because it's the way we are hardwired

   1. Our brains have a default for the negative as a survival instinct. This negativity bias helped our ancestors survive in dangerous environments by making them hyper aware of any potential threat. This instinct for survival is still ingrained in us today.

   2. The negative thoughts we have are naturally prioritized by the brain because they are linked to risk aversion, intending to keep us safe.

   3. It is important to note that this safety is often an illusion especially if what is viewed as “safe” is an environment in which we cannot thrive.

2. Our brains take mental shortcuts called Heuristics 

   1. An availability heuristic is when we overestimate the likelihood of an event based on how quickly we are able to come up with an example of it already having happened.

   2. We also battle our confirmation bias, meaning once we have a negative thought in our head, we naturally start looking for things that confirm it in our lives either past, present or future making these thoughts seem more real or true. 

3. Social Conditioning plays a role as well 

   1. Most of us are taught from a young age to be cautious, self-critical and are often told where our weaknesses lie. We are trained to avoid failure at all costs but to also shy away from too much success, for fear of coming across arrogant. 

   2. Our brains equate being a social outcast to death.

4. Lack of Evidence for positive beliefs

   1. Why does it always feel like we have so much less evidence for things going well? Surely there are at least a handful of times where things have worked out for us, why don’t those memories come up?

      1. This comes down to our conditioning to hyper focus on negative thoughts or outcomes since it’s related to our safety. We collect our negative experiences and call them lessons to be revisited and dwelled upon religiously, while our positive experiences often go unnoticed. 

      2. Even when you do succeed, it’s likely you’ll experience imposter syndrome thinking your success was pure luck or that you don’t deserve it. You attribute your wins to external factors therefore you don’t build on the positive belief that you are in fact capable.

So now that we have a comprehensive understanding of why our brains are working this way, we can get into how to start retraining them to think and behave in a more positive way.

1. Interrupt the negative thoughts: Instead of allowing these negative thoughts to take hold and run wild in your head, attempt to interrupt them, even challenge them. Try interrupting these thoughts with ones of “I’ve faced challenges before and come out on top.” If this still doesn’t feel real enough to you and you find yourself going back into the negative, try thinking of other people who have done or faced what you are about to and who have come out on top. Using other people’s success as a way to talk your brain into your own ability to succeed is a great trick when you first start trying to overcome negative thoughts and beliefs. 

2. Evidence collection: We know the brain requires proof before it will consider a new belief. Keeping a journal or a notes page on your phone of all successes and accomplishments both big and small will help you to build your library of evidence that positive things are just as real and likely as the negative ones you’re so used to believing. 

3. Positive affirmations: Making a conscious effort to introduce your brai

   
   
   
   

   n to positive ideas and thoughts (whether or not you actually believe them at first) is crucial to successfully dethroning your ever present negative beliefs.

4. Focus on the process, not just the outcome: Success or failure is often measured by the brain when you get to the end of a task. You either successfully built the business or failed. You either successfully lost 5 pounds in a month or you failed. Instead of putting so much pressure and focus on what success or failure will look like as an outcome, focus more on the process of what you’re trying to achieve. Progress is more important than perfection and every step you take is proof that you can achieve your goals.

Know that rewiring your brain to think more positively first rather than leading with negativity takes time. The more consistent you are with the steps you’re taking to challenge and change any negative beliefs you have, the easier it will get.